Eating For Two
by lanakael
Summary: Manny's thoughts on pregnancy. Warning: Doesn't completely follow canon, AN explains why. First Degrassi fic so please be gentlesmile


_Yes, I'm 31 and I watch Degrassi: The Next Generation. Quite a few adults do, with and without their children. And since the US station which airs D:TNG decided NOT to show ANY of the episodes surrounding Manny's pregnancy, I've not seen them, so this chapter & any other chapters/stories stemming from this thread is purely "speculation" on my part. I know canon has it that Manny sought out Spike for advice about the pregnancy, but since that ep wasn't shown either, for the purposes of this story Manny never went to Spike and got a pregnancy test from the pharmacy instead. PG-13 to be on the safe side; and _Eating For Two_ is taken from the _10,000 Maniacs _song of the same name, in the spirit of the show, which takes its episode names from popular songs. As always, if any rules were violated here, please let me know so I may quickly correct and/or remove the story myself. Please R&R, and I hope you all enjoy._

Eating For Two

Ice cream. Comfort food. Except it's not all that comforting right now. In fact, the way the lumps of cherry are just kinda..squishing...together into the soupy, melting ice cream--well, it's kind of gross. In fact, the reddish mess kind of reminds me of that awful movie we saw in health class earlier this year. You know, the one about the reproductive system? When the old lady in the movie was going on and on about a girl's period and how it's just waste that's flushed from our bodies, if the egg hasn't been fertilized. And how all that "mess", if fertilized, becomes--

_A baby._

I can't take it. I glance out into the living room, where Mama is busily sweeping the living room rug, the vacum cleaner actually kind of pleasing in a droning sort of way. Makes me calm, so I don't really have to think. About what I'm going to do with my life.

Except that's exactly what I'm doing, isn't it?

Another secret glance, this time out the front window to where our garbage can sits. How I prayed earlier today that no nosy dogs overturn the can in search of scraps of Mama's cooking before the garbage men come tomorrow. Inside that can is more than scraps of food and bits of paper and banana peels. Inside that can is, for now, the only other witness to my shame.

_Craig._

Why couldn't we have been together? It was all so perfect, the night we were together. The _only_ time we were together. Yes, I know he was with Ashley, but hey, they'd had that fight, right? And who was the one who was there to ease his pain, make him feel better? That's right, me. Not Ashley, Miss Holier-Than-Thou with her prissy fake Goth attitude. Me, Manny. Ready to be more than a prissy little girl who gave him grief and led him on then backed off in a rightous huff. I was more than ready to be Craig's woman that night, to follow wherever he led me, to take him away from that cow who never really understood what it is he needs.

Except it didn't exactly work out that way.

He avoided me for a time after that. _Then _came the bracelet fiasco, when Ash found out about us, and we both knew he'd been lying. We both quit him after that. But I'd wanted him so much! Then the rave, when I tried to hook Emma up with Chris. Fat lot of good _that_ did. Little Miss Squeaky Clean would _never_ move on a man who's got another girl, even if he was already breaking up with that girl. I'd seen them fighting; Chris was ripe for the kill. All Emma had to do was waltz right in there, lend a listening ear, a welcome shoulder. But no, she had to be all righteous and storm out. Just when I'd finally snagged Craig again, too. Then she had to come home and block my action. It's just so damn unfair! Emma and Ashley should be friends, those two prigs deserve each other.

And I thought I could wait it out, you know? That Craig and Ash would see that they were all wrong for each other, that it would be just the thing to make Craig see that _I _was the one he really wanted, the one who could really give him what he wanted. But he didn't. All I got for my pain was to be slapped with a label of slut, losing Emma as a friend _and _seeing her hook up with Chris, after all. Why should she be the one to get her man when I can't have mine?

It's just so unfair.

Then it started. The uneasy feelings. The nausea. I'd thought it was the flu at first. Maybe a stomach virus, you know? But then I started to think back, and I'm not really sure if Craig and I used protection that night. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure we didn't. It's not like either of us were packing, ready for action. It just sort of happened. Well, _pretty sure_ is a lie too, since I know neither of us were carrying anything. Craigh sure wasn't going to get anything from _Ashley_, why would he have anything? And everything happened so fast. If only I'd been prepared!

I didn't know where to turn, or what to do. I'd thought about going to Emma's mom, but that would've been too weird since we're not friends anymore. Emma would've known something was up and snooped around until she found out what was going on. I just couldn't risk it. So I went to the drug store, nervous as hell, and bought the test. I felt like the whole store was staring at me the entire time. I couldn't even meet the sales lady's eyes when I paid for it with the money I'd snagged from Mama's purse. Then right home, having skipped Spirt Squad practice, telling them I wasn't well. Well, it wasn't a complete lie. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest, and I was sweating like crazy. My stomachs was doing sommersaults that would've made Paige green with envy. It seemed like forever for the results....

Positive.

I stared in shock at that horrible little stick for the longest time, unwilling to belive what was right in front of me. A baby! I was going to have Craig's baby. For a moment I let myself get lost in a fantasy, a lovely fantasy where Craig and I were together, holding our precious baby, a family together. So I'd have to drop out of school, Craig would have to get a job. But it was perfect, so perfect, us together holding the proof of our love for each other. And I'd be perfect too, I'd cook fabulous meals and clean our house and when Craig came home from work he wouldn't even have to ask for anything, anything at all. Everything he'd ever want would be right there for him. And the baby would be all sweet smelling and lovely tucked up in its crib. And after dinner, Craig and me, snuggled up on the couch watching t.v. as we talked about our day. Then he'd carry me to our room....

A car door had slammed then, shocking me back to reality. I'd looked out the bathroom window in horror, hoping Mama wasn't home early. Thankfully it wasn't her. Then the panicked rush to wrap up the horrid test and stuff it deep into the outside garbage can where I hoped it wouldn't be found. But no matter how far down I pushed the package, the results kept flashing in front of me, like it was burned into my eyes. Positive.

What in the world am I going to do? Craig doesn't want me. No other boy does either, not for anything more than a good time. And my parents!! What am I going to tell them? They still think I'm a virgin. Their precious Manuela would never do anything so horrible at such a tender age. Papa will have a heart attack. I wonder if it'll be before or after he kills me. Poor Mama. She'd always had such hopes of someday watching Papa walk me down the aisle in pure white, to give me away to my adoring groom. She's going to be so mad at me.

Mama. It's like she knows I'm thinking about her. Her voice is just behind me, making me jump a little.

"Manny...Manuela! I've been calling you the past few minutes now. What's in your head, child?" Mama smiles at me to take the sting out of her words and I force myself to smile back at her. What indeed?

"Oh, nothing Mama. Just thinking about that math test I have tomorrow, that's all." Mama smiles at me as I get up again, heading to the freezer for another carton of ice cream. Stay away from the cherry, Manny. In fact, stay away from anything red. It's a crazy thought, but for some reason it gives me comfort. I grab a carton of triple chocolate swirl and sit back down at the table, greedily digging in with my spoon while Mama looks at me like I'm nuts.

"Dear heavens, Manny! That's the _second_ pint of ice cream you've had tonight! And you had two helpings at dinner tonight. You're going to need a complete new wardrobe if you keep eating like that!"

"Don't worry, Mama," I inform her without thinking. "It's normal, that's what happens when you're--" I break off, staring at my spoon in horror at the words that almost came out of my mouth. I look up quickly and Mama's come up to my side, looking down at me with a slightly confused expression on her face, waiting for me to complete my sentence. I give her a fake, brilliant smile and continue.

"It's just what happens when you're a growing teenage girl, is all." Mama smiles again and pats my shoulder, then walks off, still shaking her head and muttering under her breath about teenagers and their needs driving her and Papa into the poor house. I sigh and look down at the ice cream again, yet another pint ready to go to waste. I don't feel like eating it now, but I've already started, so why not? I may as well have the luxury of eating now that I'm

-_pregnant-_

eating for two.


End file.
